WoW. I am the whole world to someone.

I can't believe it!

okay, senario:
Zach & I - arguement, me: overly emotional. Zach: some hurtful comments.
We were pretty ticked @ each other. [understated]

We got off the phone, I returned to Tale of Two Cities w/o concentration, so deep in thought and my mind flooding with pre-concieved consequences and conclusions that I had no attention span towards consuming great Dickens literature. I returned to my well-known computer spot and made my ususal ventures--my email, xanga, then MSN messenger. No one was on, no emails, no nothing. I assumed my position as the fault & blame in the argument, so I set out to type a precious email to him, admitting my wrong-doings, and apologizing. He appears. As I click on it, I find that he is running from the difficulties. I sign onto AIM and we conclude through more bickering that we need to confront and settle this problem right away. So I call and we clear everything up, every detail, every wrong-doing. And everything's suddenly correct. but I still am feeling low for the fact that I was the one that caused it. I ask him about his day & I apologize for ruining it. (content: "Zach, I'm sorry I ruined your day." [pause] "You didn't ruin my day... you..." "I did ruin your day." [long pause] "Hilary? You've changed my life. [pause] You've changed my life so much." [extended pause due to lack of speech] "How have I changed your life, Zach? oh. I ruined it too. I ruined your life? I'm sorry I ruined your life Zach, I really didn't mean to, I really didn't." "No..." [cut off] "No, I ruined it Zach." "You know, there is such thing as changing someone's life for good." [long pause] "What. . .do you. . .mean?" "I mean, Hilary, you've changed my life for the better. My life is so much better since I met you. I've been so happy since I met you. I mean, you've made my life soo happy. You've changed my life for the good, you changed it so much, you understand??" [speechless, taken aback] "WoW. Zach. [pause] you've changed my life too....... can I say. . . thank you? or. . ." "I guess." "I mean . . . [pause] can I say I'm glad?" "Of course. Go ahead." "I'm soooo glad that I changed your life. and I'm glad that we are so close and that we can work together through things like this... I'm so glad." "me too. . . me too." [end content]) After some more conversing, he admitted, after I asked if he was completely, utterly annoyed with me, that he wasn't, "completely, utterly annoyed with you, not at all, only a small bit." He thanked me for talking with him and he told me how glad he was that we could overlook our differences and that we worked it out. And it ended soooo very sweet, and at the end I say (content: "Zach, you are sooo sweet." "Hilary, you are too." [end content]).
He also gave me his word that he wouldn't ignore me on messenger and that he'd reply as often and as applicable as he could. It ended so gorgeous. He told me to post that "everything is good and well" on my Xanga.... so i did.

How can someone be so cute, yet such a paradox. We've been through so much, we're so close. God is faithful. I treasure every time, every single time I am blessed by the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ, that HE loves me enough to pull me through something so hard and horrible as that. He won't put me under anything I can't stand.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." ~James 1:2-4