And I just don't want to say goodbye.

It dawned on me the other day that the likelihood of seeing most of just this past year's graduates ever again is very slim...

It made me really sad.
I wish I never had to say goodbye.
I'm not ready to detach from the world I'm apart of and dive right into a brand new existence with unfamiliar people, new places, undiscovered things.

I'm not ready to get ready.
Maybe that's what senior year is for. Doing the last minute things you forgot to do on the way. The final test. The last bit of time to be a kid before you have to act like an adult and make decisions for you're future.

That's a lot of responsibility. I don't know if I can handle that yet. Planning the next sixty years of my life - in four to eight years?

...

This is what senioritis is: extensive excitement and anticipation to leave so that it won't hurt as much when the time comes.

Honest to goodness, I'm scared to grow up.

... it's not like I forgot to do anything beforehand.
I just don't want to say goodbye.

I have one more year left. One. And it seemed like yesterday that I was only a freshman, scared in the same way I am now. But it seemed as less intense of a transition - more familiar - only because I knew that the next year I was to see the same faces. And as the groups and cliques changed, so did the people. We all grew together - we all helped each other through it.

But I think that our class is different - our circumstances - because of the way we grew up together. Freshmen and Sophomores in one big, scary school - all going through the sudden shock of a change... We had to stick together: it was the only way to get by.

That's why it's going to be weird moving on. We are related. We all know what it feels like. We walked down the same hallways - had the same teachers. We all shared the experience.

And even though it's going to be difficult saying goodbye to the ones that are close, it feels even more awkwardly depressing saying goodbye to the ones who you may not have spoken to often - the ones who were always just there in high school. You may or may not have even been friends with them, but their presence just added to the aura of the experience.

It makes me realize how much I just don't want to leave.

Yet at the same time, I can't wait to get out of here.
I'm just not ready to let go of the things that have gotten me through high school - that glance, that sheepish smile... that wave. that hello. that conversation.

It's the small things that have helped me.
And the big things too.
Everything...

... these are my feelings - and I don't think that I'm alone.

... Guys, the job is almost done.
It's time take high school head-on.
Senior year, here I come.

Who knows when I'll be set and ready to go.

Sometimes you simply just have to jump.

...

All right.
Here, take my hand.
You ready?

...

One.
Two.
Three.