confused and conflicted

Disconnected.
Selfish.
Odd.
Bittersweet.

It's driving me nuts.
This is how I feel.

I feel weird.
Like I'm weird.
Like I just can't make up my mind.

Everything seems so shallow.
Some of it feels happy, yes.
But there's this small inclination in the back of my head
And it's whispering & it's telling me,
"It won't last."

Nothing I feel,
or see,
or hear,
or touch...

...will last.

And I don't know how to get rid of it.

I don't know what I want yet.
but when I do,
I'll let you know.

But for now,
I still love you.
I love you,
I love you,
I love you,
A whole, whole lot.

And I just want to close my eyes,
& remove all of the distractions.

I want to burrow myself into your arms,
And I want you to sing me a song.

"...don't change a hair for me,
Not if you care for me,
Stay, little Valentine, stay.
Please, stay.
Each day is Valentine's Day.
Each day is Valentine's Day."

---

And here's my song, not really anything except an accurate depiction of my mind at present:

Sweeter than Me
Aaron Sprinkle

Yesterday morning when you told me,
That you have never felt this lonely,
I saw the sadness in your eyes.
You told me how you feel disguised.

Confiding in me about the sleepless
nights, That you cannot seem to keep this
hurting buried in your dreams.
You're facing darkness twice as deep.

You're much sweeter than me by far.
You're much stronger than me,
You know you are.

Look up at the floral pattern curtains.
In picking them out, you were so certain.
But now there's indecision in your eyes.
You're finding comfort thinking twice.

But you're much sweeter than me by far.
You're much stronger than me,
You know you are.

By leaning on your window sill,
You show me all I need to know.
Whether you see summer, winter, or fall,
When I look at you, I see them all.

Sit down at the table with your jewelry,
Remembering each and every story.

But you're much sweeter than me by far.
You're much stronger than me by far.
You're much sweeter than me by far.
You're much stronger than me,
You know you are.

Wow.

My boyfriend could possibly be...
the worst microwave popcorn maker...

...ever.

: ]
but i love him anyway.
^-^

oh, and happy 'o8, everyone.
hahahaha