WoW. I am the whole world to someone.

I can't believe it!

okay, senario:
Zach & I - arguement, me: overly emotional. Zach: some hurtful comments.
We were pretty ticked @ each other. [understated]

We got off the phone, I returned to Tale of Two Cities w/o concentration, so deep in thought and my mind flooding with pre-concieved consequences and conclusions that I had no attention span towards consuming great Dickens literature. I returned to my well-known computer spot and made my ususal ventures--my email, xanga, then MSN messenger. No one was on, no emails, no nothing. I assumed my position as the fault & blame in the argument, so I set out to type a precious email to him, admitting my wrong-doings, and apologizing. He appears. As I click on it, I find that he is running from the difficulties. I sign onto AIM and we conclude through more bickering that we need to confront and settle this problem right away. So I call and we clear everything up, every detail, every wrong-doing. And everything's suddenly correct. but I still am feeling low for the fact that I was the one that caused it. I ask him about his day & I apologize for ruining it. (content: "Zach, I'm sorry I ruined your day." [pause] "You didn't ruin my day... you..." "I did ruin your day." [long pause] "Hilary? You've changed my life. [pause] You've changed my life so much." [extended pause due to lack of speech] "How have I changed your life, Zach? oh. I ruined it too. I ruined your life? I'm sorry I ruined your life Zach, I really didn't mean to, I really didn't." "No..." [cut off] "No, I ruined it Zach." "You know, there is such thing as changing someone's life for good." [long pause] "What. . .do you. . .mean?" "I mean, Hilary, you've changed my life for the better. My life is so much better since I met you. I've been so happy since I met you. I mean, you've made my life soo happy. You've changed my life for the good, you changed it so much, you understand??" [speechless, taken aback] "WoW. Zach. [pause] you've changed my life too....... can I say. . . thank you? or. . ." "I guess." "I mean . . . [pause] can I say I'm glad?" "Of course. Go ahead." "I'm soooo glad that I changed your life. and I'm glad that we are so close and that we can work together through things like this... I'm so glad." "me too. . . me too." [end content]) After some more conversing, he admitted, after I asked if he was completely, utterly annoyed with me, that he wasn't, "completely, utterly annoyed with you, not at all, only a small bit." He thanked me for talking with him and he told me how glad he was that we could overlook our differences and that we worked it out. And it ended soooo very sweet, and at the end I say (content: "Zach, you are sooo sweet." "Hilary, you are too." [end content]).
He also gave me his word that he wouldn't ignore me on messenger and that he'd reply as often and as applicable as he could. It ended so gorgeous. He told me to post that "everything is good and well" on my Xanga.... so i did.

How can someone be so cute, yet such a paradox. We've been through so much, we're so close. God is faithful. I treasure every time, every single time I am blessed by the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ, that HE loves me enough to pull me through something so hard and horrible as that. He won't put me under anything I can't stand.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." ~James 1:2-4

RotH! The Return of the Hilary!

I've returned!!!! BUAHAHA!
From what?
Absolutely nothing!!!
I just was lazy and didn't bother updating my precious blogsy.

. . .

Life's really good right now. i have a special-est special friend of special-ness (you all know who) and life couldn't be more clearer. I'm going to Highland Park, Detroit for a missions trip in 7 days and I am SO EXCITED! w00t! I love War Week. This year, we're going to a juvinile detention prison, of course, in the 2nd most dangerous place in the U.S. LoL. So PRAY FOR OUR TEAM'S SAFETY! August 2-7th!

Zachy's leavin' for Idaho while I'm gone and I won't get to see him for 3 weeks
:( but on Wednesday, we're spending the entire day together, most likely, before I leave!! Aw, he's so sweet!

Yesterday I went to a Chris Tomlin concert (RawR, he's is amazing!) and it was awesome! So awesome, I don't even have the engery to describe it, so go on my Xanga because I described it earlier. Zach was so nice to take me!

Anyway, I hope everyone's summer is going fantastico! It is a great feeling knowing that you are right with God and how much He blesses you if you are.

Oh I have an inquiry!!! For IDT (Intense Descipleship Training) for my church, we have to answer these questions based on books we have to read in our tracks. Well, in my track, Creative Expressions in Worship, I am reading Imagine by Steve Turner, and The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. During the questions today, there was this one question I answered, but I wasn't sure if I answred it well enough. Here it is:

What is the difference between Christianity as philosophy, and Christianity as a spiritual relationship?

It's almost as if this statement is a similie or metaphor to those type of people who know God and Christianity exist but fail to do anything about it and those who really are Christians and do more than declare it. Having spiritual relationship unites you and makes you one with God. It brings you to that upper level, that inner circle. It clears up all misunderstanding and answers questions deeper. Christianity as a philosophy answers questions, yes. It even brings you to the turning point of deciding to have a spiritual relationship or not. The fact is not that the philosophy is worse than having a relationship; it is the belief of the philosophy that chooses how deep in Christianity you want to be. You can believe it if you want to, but only the decision will take you where you want to be. You can learn the philosophy or you can know it and believe it so much that you are willing to give your whole life for it.

. . .

Yea, it's kinda long, but will it be suffice enough to fully answer the question?

Well, I'll let you decide, right now I am leaving.

~toodles!