The Last Five Years

So I've been on this "The Last Five Years" rave, and Barsch burned me a copy of the musical soundtrack...

AT LAST! :-)

This musical is probably the most depressing thing one will ever hear. It's so beautiful, and the storyline is amazing.

Some of it, though, reminds me of Josh. And he would sing these songs to me, too. For example, "If I Didn't Believe in You" reminds me of every argument we have. Man. I really hope that Josh is serious.

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~A Part Of That~

CATHERINE
One day we're just like "Leave it to Beaver"
One day it's just a typical life
And then he's off on
A trip to Jamie-land
Staring catatonic out the windowB
arely even breathing all the while
And then he'll smile
His eyes light up and deep within the ground
Without a sound
A moment comes to life
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that

Next day it's just like
It never happened
We're making dinners
We're making plans
Then he gets on the
Mule train to Jamie-land
Handful after handful of Doritos
Circling the apartment, logging miles

And then he smiles
His eyes light up
And how can I complain?
Yes, he's insane
But look what he can do
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that

And it's true
I tend to follow in his stride
Instead of side by side
I take his cue
True, but there's no question
There's no doubt
I said I'd stick it out
And follow through
And when I do

Then he smiles
And where else can I go?
I didn't know
The rules do not apply

And then he smiles
And nothing else makes sense
While he invents
The world that's passing by
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
Aren't I?
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that

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If I Didn't Believe In You

JAMIE
Okay, stop
Cathy, stop
Listen to me

There are people
And they are publishing my book
And there's a party that they're throwing
And while you've made it very clear that you're not going
I will be going
And that's done

But what's it really about?
Is it really about a party, Cathy?
Can we please for a minute stop blaming
And say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed
To be touring again for the summer?

Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Cathy
Talk to me

If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are

If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
The fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,"Cathy, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you

Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?
At some point down the line

Don't we get to relax?
Without some new tsuris
To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Cathy
Why can't you support mine?
Why do I have to feel
I've committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?

I don't want you to hurt
I don't want you to sink
But you know what I think?
I think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see-
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you
Will you listen to me?
No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy
I will not lose because you can't win

If I didn't believe in you
Then here's where the travelogue ends
If I didn't believe in you
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose-
This is the thing I can't bear to lose
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall"
That's what I thought we agreed on, Cathy
If I hadn't believed in you
I wouldn't have loved you at all

Now why don't you put your dress on and we'll go,
Okay?
Cathy?
Can we just do that please?
Please?!

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~ from I Can Do Better Than That ~

CATHERINE
You don't have to get a haircut
You don't have to change your shoes
You don't have to like Duran Duran
Just love me

You don't have to put the seat down
You don't have to watch the news
You dont' have to learn to tango
You don't have to eat prosciutto
You don't have to change a thing
Just stay with me

I want you and you and nothing but you
Miles and piles of you
Finally I'll have something worthwhile
To think about each morning

You and you and nothing but you
No substitution will do
Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure
Top of the line and totally mine!

I don't need any lifetime commitments
I don't need to get hitched tonight
I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses
I don't mean to put on any pressure
But I know what a thing is right
And I spend every day reconfiguring my sense

When we get to my house, take a look at that town
Take a look at how far I've gone
I will never go back
Never look back anymore
And it feels like my life led right to your side
And will keep me there from now on

Think about what you wanted
Think about what could be
Think about how I love you
Say you'll move in with me
Think of what's great about me and you
Think of the bull**** we've both been through
Think of what's past because we can do better!
We can do better!
We can do better than that!
We can do better than that!

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~from The Schmuel Song~

Take your time
Have I mentioned today
How lucky I am
To be in love with you?!

--------------------------

Yeah.

So, I think this is our relationship. This is what it will be like. I guess I just kind of have that sort of a feeling.

[[ sigh ]]

I hate hump day.
Stupid Wednesday.
Go away.